Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
NOT SO SILENT
An elderly couple were attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, " I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Funny Mormon Joke
After getting Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley's entire
luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that
the LDS Prophet is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, President," says the driver, "Would you
please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Prophet, "they
never let me drive at the Church Office Building, and
I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my
job! And what if something should happen?" protests
the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that
morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says
the Prophet.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the
Prophet climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly
regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,
the Lord's Annointed floors it, accelerating the limo
to 105 mph.
"Please slow down, President!!! " pleads the worried
driver, but the Prophet keeps the pedal to the metal
until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the
driver.
The Prophet pulls over and rolls down the window as
the cop approaches but the cop takes one look at him,
goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the
dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that
he's stopped a limo doing a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really
important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got President Hinckley as his chauffeur!!"
luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that
the LDS Prophet is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, President," says the driver, "Would you
please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Prophet, "they
never let me drive at the Church Office Building, and
I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my
job! And what if something should happen?" protests
the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that
morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says
the Prophet.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the
Prophet climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly
regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,
the Lord's Annointed floors it, accelerating the limo
to 105 mph.
"Please slow down, President!!! " pleads the worried
driver, but the Prophet keeps the pedal to the metal
until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the
driver.
The Prophet pulls over and rolls down the window as
the cop approaches but the cop takes one look at him,
goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the
dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that
he's stopped a limo doing a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really
important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got President Hinckley as his chauffeur!!"
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